TOUCHÉ
- A friend in need is a pest indeed.
- Marriage is one of the main causes of divorce.
- Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
- If everything’s coming your way you’re in the wrong lane.
- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.
- Life is uncertain; eat dessert first.
- Smile; it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
- It’s not hard to meet expenses; they’re everywhere.
- A computer printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
- The person who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The person who invented the other three was a genius.
- The trouble with being punctual is no one’s there to appreciate it.
- If we have free speech why do we get phone bills?
- If you can’t convince them confuse them.
- It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
- I couldn’t repair your brakes so I made your hooter louder.
- Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems. But if you think about it nor does milk.
- The cigarette does the smoking. You’re just the sucker.
- Whenever I find the key to success someone changes the lock.
- To err is human but to forgive isn’t company policy.
- The road to success is always under construction.
- To get a loan you first need to prove you don’t need it.
- All the desirable things in life are illegal, expensive, fattening or married to some-one else.
