From YOU’s Chuckles page . . .
SHORTS
- A woman finds her husband carefully examining their marriage certificate. “What are you looking for?” she asks.
“The expiry date.”
- After a quarrel a woman says to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
“Yes dear,” the man replies, “but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
- “Do you think our son gets his brains from me?” a man asks his wife.
“Probably, dear,” she replies, “I still have all of mine.”
- A couple are reading newspapers. “This article on overpopulation says somewhere in the world there’s a woman having a baby every four seconds,” the woman says.
“They should find this woman and stop her,” her husband replies.
- “There’s trouble with the car,” a woman says. “It has water in the carburettor.”
“Water in the carburettor?” her husband says. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I tell you, the car has water in the carburettor.”
“You don’t even know what a carburettor is. Where’s the car?”
“In the swimming pool.”
- Car bumper sticker: “I’m the boss of the house … and I have my wife’s permission to say so.”
FAST LEARNERS
- Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that’s wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it’s wrong but you asked me how I spell it.
- Teacher: Donald, what’s the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Well, yesterday you said it was H to O.
- Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.
Winnie: Me!
- Teacher: Jim, why do you always get so dirty?
Jim: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
- Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree he also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Louie: Because George was still holding the axe.
- Teacher: Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don’t have to - my mom is a good cook.
- Teacher: Clyde, your composition called My Dog is identical to your brother’s. Did you copy it?
Clyde: No sir, it’s the same dog.
