SILLY SHORTS
Has anyone ever captured an abominable snowman? Not yeti.
How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
One - but she’ll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
What’s Count Dracula’s favourite snack?
A fangfurter.
What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Dreaded wheat.
Where do monsters send their clothes for cleaning?
The dry screamer.
Which of the witch’s friends eats fastest?
The goblin.
“I’m sorry, I won’t be able to come out tonight,” a girl tells her friend. “I promised my dad I’d stay in and help him with my homework.”
“Doctor, I think I’m a snake about to shed its skin.”
“Don’t worry, just go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable.”
What’s the difference between ET and a married man?
ET phones home.
Why do ducks look so sad?
When they preen their feathers they get down in the mouth.
What would a wise man say when the world ends?
“Armageddon out of here!”
When is it good to have acrobats in a restaurant?
When tumblers are needed on the tables.
Old music never dies, it just decomposes.
What happens when you get hit by a radio?
It hertz.
Which knight discovered the circle?
Sir Cumference.
What’s purple, round and floats in space?
Planet of the grapes.
What did the little lightbulb say to its mother?
I wuv you watts and watts.
What’s small, round and sneaks round the kitchen at Christmas?
Mince spies.
He said, “I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.” I thought, “That’s a turn-up for the books.”
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